Are you missing a husband or wife because you don't have one?
Did you perhaps consider a blind date? Think on it and don't be fooled.
Are you one of many looking? Are you one of 7, 20; or even a million and you think your "chances" are bad?
Jesus said not to worry about food, clothes and in the same way Paul says not to obsess about finding a spouse (Check out: 1 Co 7:27). So don't worry about that either. Just do your job and go about normally where people go or in public places.
Why don't you have your own type of kindness test like Jethro who was interested in checking out anyone who showed kindness to his daughters. Jethro was kind himself, because he asked observant questions of his daughters. Did they have problems with the unkind men at the well again on the day that he asked:
"Why have (all of) you returned so early today?" Ex 2:18
Pourquoi entrez-vous si tôt aujourd'hui? - French
His "Jethro" Excellency (a title), Reuel by name, had 7 daughters and he was their mentor. The kindness test was important, because everyone else had treated his daughters with contempt, even though he was the priest of Midian! When a foreigner from Eygpt, who would be "eyed with suspicion" by the local people, helped his daughters, he asked:
Warum seid ihr heute schon so früh wieder da? - German
"Where is he?" Ex. 2:20
Où est (donc) cet homme? - French
"Why didn't you bring the man here?" Ex. 2:20
Wo ist er? - German
Pourquoi ne l'avez-vous pas amené ici? - French
"Go, and invite him for dinner!!!!"Ex. 2:20
Warum habt ihr ihn nicht mitgebracht? - German
Allez le chercher pour qu'il mange avec nous. - French
Reuel offered to be a good host--something normal. He had a chance to look this man over. Maybe one of his daughters might be interested. Since the man defended his daughters and was kind to them in general, he had already past the "first test". If one of them liked him a lot, and he liked her, he would pass the most important criteria. One did. Soon Zipporah was married to Moses. That was after the dinner, that was a kind of "blind" date situation where at least some of the participants knew each other superficially.
Holt ihn! Er soll mit uns essen. - German
Sometimes there is a delicate question to be dealt with, as in this case. When should someone introduce any "bad news" to a spouse-to-be? Did Moses tell his "bad news"? When did Zipporah and the family find out the down side of Moses? When did they find out that Moses was a "murderer" for a "just" cause, a stateless person by default who "was" a Hebrew by blood and an Egyptian by adoption?
By the time Zipporah liked him, it probably didn't matter "enough" how Moses came to Midian for her to pry and ask around, ...at least publicly. Moses had a new place under the sun!
But God and the past caught up with him in new terms. That was after the burning bush experience. Then Moses wanted to return to Egypt. It seems he hadn't yet explained the whole story after 40 years. In Ex. 4:18 Moses only said to Jethro that he wanted to return to Egypt to see if "his people" were still alive!
Ich möchte zu meinen Leuten nach Ägypten zurückkehren und sehen, ob sie noch am Leben sind. - GermanHe didn't name "his people". Did he still beat around the bush even with Zipporah?
The whole truth known or not, accepted or not, Moses and Zipporah had their problems and decisions to make. All married people have problems and decisions to make.
The kindness "test" in the story of Rebekah was similar. A traveller prayed to God in Gen 24:14 for help with a drink of water and help with his animals. Rebekah helped him, gave him a drink in Gen 24:18 and helped with the animals in Gen 24:19. She helped like she always did. She did not just do the minimum, but more than was required and from the heart. She ended up being given the choice as to if she would marry the traveller's boss. She was asked by her family, including Laban about what she wanted and had veto power. (Was Laban a good mentor? Not later...)
Let's call the girl and ask her about it. Gen 24:57
Appelons la jeune fille et demandons-lui son avis. - French
Sie soll selbst enscheiden. - German ("She is to decide herself." The calling her is implied and not stated in words in this verse. The next starts with: Sie riefen...(They called.))
Will you go/travel with this man?... I will go. Gen 24:58
Veux-tu partir avec cet homme?...Oui.- French
She agreed to go on a blind date in a far country. The "not-so-blind" blind date was recommended and the situation was checked out as safe and good.
Willst du jetzt sofort die Reise antreten?...Ja. - German
(Do you want to commence the journey immediately?...Yes.)
When she arrived, Rebekah even checked up on the groom-to-be from behind her veil. She must have wanted to ascertain, if the whole idea was good and from God. Had she seen something that worried her, she could have vetoed the whole thing and could still have saved face for all. She didn't and she married Issac not much after that.
So be kind in every day situations whether you are looking for a spouse or not. INVITE THOSE PEOPLE who are helpful--if you like--in the name and/or in the company of others. Ask God for guidance. Invite only to a "safe place", perhaps a "public" one, where the agenda is not marriage up front, but having a friendly good time. A kind and worthy person will not mind this type of restriction. Then if you like someone and especially if you conclude you want to get married, get other opinions by asking:
"When was _______(add the name) kind?" since
Love is kind. 1 Co 13:4
L'amour est bon. - French
....Others have eyes and see whether someone is kind and patient or mean in many more circumstances.
Wer liebt ist gütig. - German
Love is patient. 1 Co 13:4
L'amour est patient. - French
Reuel, who liked Moses, probably stressed every positive trait he came across, but did not "force" anyone into marrying. An unkind problem person would show true colours sooner or later, maybe even dramatically, to someone else who is around. They might warn you. Good mentors will warn you! They are not indifferent!
Wer liebt ist geduldig. - German
Listen to others when they have "well-intentioned" comments regarding kindness or unkindness and then still strive to find out the truth yourself. You will make better decisions. It's best that YOU DECIDE major life choices after you pray and consider, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIVE WITH WHATEVER YOU DECIDE.
God bless you in the marital state you are in.
God bless those who have a change in marital state.
Dear Jesus, we put before you the whole issue of courtship and marriage. Singles, marrieds, divorced, widowed, separated, common-law, astronaut marriages where husband and wife live in different countries, unequally married,...unconventional...
You know all the situations. Lord, help us live in the state that is right for us. Thank you that you forgive us, even when we sin. Forgive us if we didn't we know how to treat a potential "spouse" or how to break up with "spouses-not-to-be"?
Lord, we put before you people who go on blind dates without a supporting group. Warn and protect them especially. Lord we put before you people who ignore early warning signs about patience and kindness. You promise "a way out" with love in difficult circumstances. Give abused people their way out with love.
Bless all courting and married people. Amen.